I Want To Be Like Mary!
The revelation that my life was controlling me instead of the other way around happened one Sunday morning as I sat in my usual, fourth-row seat in the sanctuary of Marion Baptist Church. That particular Sunday, our pastor’s message came from the book of Luke:
Now it happened as they went that He entered a certain village; and a certain woman named Martha welcomed Him into her house. And she had a sister called Mary; who also sat at Jesus’ feet and heard His word. But Martha was distracted with much serving, and she approached Him and said, “Lord do You not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Therefore tell her to help me.” ~ Luke 10:38 -40 (NKJV)
As the minister told the story of Martha and Mary preparing for Jesus’ visit, I found myself a little prideful that I shared the name of Martha. After all, she was the one doing all the work to make her home fit for a king. In my mind, I could just see her running around, reeling off the details in her head . . .
I need to make sure I don’t forget to put the yams on the coals 30 minutes before the lamb is ready to come off the spit. Oh, and those flowers on the dining table look a little too wilted--I should switch those out.
I’m sure Martha had a tidy house, adorned to perfection (what Martha wouldn’t?). And the meal would no doubt rival anything prepared by Martha Stewart (pun intended). But her visitor wasn’t just any guest! THIS was the KING, and everything must be perfect. While she was filled with anticipation to spend time with her Master, she let preparation take priority over participation.
Looking back, I realize that I made a commitment to tone down my Type A personality long before now. But just as so many well-intentioned New Year’s resolutions rarely come to fruition, I allowed my commitment to take a back seat to all the busyness in my life. When opportunity knocked—or sometimes before he even hit the first porch step—I opened the door!
I have had some great jobs, and regardless of the work, I usually find myself content in almost any situation. With age and experience came jobs with more responsibility, and I learned that high position and pay carry an equally high price. Maybe it was only my situation . . . it seemed as I climbed the corporate ladder I was expected to do more with less. As I exited certain positions, I found that two (or more) people were doing the same job that I had done alone. Makes me wonder . . . perhaps the problem is me and not the jobs.
I tried so many times to put my heartfelt commitment into practice--to just be in the moment instead of planning and coordinating it. But then a profitable opportunity would come along at work or a customer crisis demanded my attention, and I found myself doing the Martha thing again. Over and over I waffled in my decision to focus more on the life God wanted for me. I resisted making the Lord a priority—not intentionally, of course. But I would think: “I have a job that requires some extra responsibility and I need to do these things. I don’t want to let my boss down.”
But in late 2005, the Lord started nudging and compelling me to live up to my commitment to be more of a Mary. I began to have problems sleeping and saw three sleep specialists, a neurologist, and even a psychologist—none of whom were able to resolve my insomnia. Remarkably, I didn’t feel sick, but I knew that eventually my body would start to suffer from my average regimen of about 24 hours sleep in a week! Despite my growing fatigue, I continued to work at least 60 hours a week. Mind you, this schedule was an improvement over my typical 80 hours or more!
By late 2007, I was suffering from unrelenting fatigue. I could not drive more than 20 minutes without feeling as if I’d run a marathon. A trip from my den to the laundry room was excruciating. By the time the laundry was in the washing machine, I felt as if I’d just done a few rounds in the ring with Ali!
My conversations with my boss about a leave of absence always seemed inconclusive. I felt that I had to make an all-or-nothing decision—that I had to quit my job or go back to the 80-hour work week. In the end, the less frenetic pace was insufficient and I felt the pressure to resign.
Since mid 2008, I have been a stay-at-home wife and mother (even though my children are out of the nest). Not having a “job” is a huge deal for me! The resignation was a hard decision, but I knew that it was God-ordained! The Lord allowed me to go through some struggles with my job and my health to help me see that our best life results when we honor our commitments and live our lives according to His word.
Still, the consummate Martha, I spent my first few months of joblessness agonizing over finding another job. Though I was still having some health problems, I just knew once I got back into the game and found work that I loved, I would be fine.
And then one night, I went to bed feeling defeated. The job market didn’t offer much for a 53-year-old, out-of-work senior manager. I was willing—and wanted—to work less demanding jobs, but I kept hearing that I was overqualified. As I said my prayers, I told the Lord I would do whatever He had in store for me if He would just send it my way.
A few hours later, I bolted awake! It was clear that the Lord had awakened me—I know that feeling so well. You just know when the Lord is going to say something to you. And it was time for Him to have His say—and His way—and for me to listen!
And Jesus answered and said to her, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and troubled about many things. But one thing is needed, and Mary has chosen that good part, which will not be taken away from her.” ~ Luke 10:41-42 (NKJV)
And there it was! His message took me full circle to that pew in Marion Baptist Church: there is only one thing that is needed of me. Jesus had nudged me again and again, reminding me of my resolution to be more like Mary. Yet I kept up my old behaviors, worrying about many things—things of little consequence.
So, I am officially on sabbatical until Labor Day, 2009! I will not look for, think about, or talk about work. I am going to spend my time sitting at Jesus’ feet, basking in His Word! I am going to enjoy the blessings that God has given me—a devoted husband, children and grandchildren whom I adore, precious friends who “get” me. I am going to spend some time in quiet solitude, thinking on all these things.
I have chosen the good part—the part that Jesus assures me cannot be taken away from me.
Lord, I want to be like Mary!
Now it happened as they went that He entered a certain village; and a certain woman named Martha welcomed Him into her house. And she had a sister called Mary; who also sat at Jesus’ feet and heard His word. But Martha was distracted with much serving, and she approached Him and said, “Lord do You not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Therefore tell her to help me.” ~ Luke 10:38 -40 (NKJV)
As the minister told the story of Martha and Mary preparing for Jesus’ visit, I found myself a little prideful that I shared the name of Martha. After all, she was the one doing all the work to make her home fit for a king. In my mind, I could just see her running around, reeling off the details in her head . . .
I need to make sure I don’t forget to put the yams on the coals 30 minutes before the lamb is ready to come off the spit. Oh, and those flowers on the dining table look a little too wilted--I should switch those out.
I’m sure Martha had a tidy house, adorned to perfection (what Martha wouldn’t?). And the meal would no doubt rival anything prepared by Martha Stewart (pun intended). But her visitor wasn’t just any guest! THIS was the KING, and everything must be perfect. While she was filled with anticipation to spend time with her Master, she let preparation take priority over participation.
Looking back, I realize that I made a commitment to tone down my Type A personality long before now. But just as so many well-intentioned New Year’s resolutions rarely come to fruition, I allowed my commitment to take a back seat to all the busyness in my life. When opportunity knocked—or sometimes before he even hit the first porch step—I opened the door!
I have had some great jobs, and regardless of the work, I usually find myself content in almost any situation. With age and experience came jobs with more responsibility, and I learned that high position and pay carry an equally high price. Maybe it was only my situation . . . it seemed as I climbed the corporate ladder I was expected to do more with less. As I exited certain positions, I found that two (or more) people were doing the same job that I had done alone. Makes me wonder . . . perhaps the problem is me and not the jobs.
I tried so many times to put my heartfelt commitment into practice--to just be in the moment instead of planning and coordinating it. But then a profitable opportunity would come along at work or a customer crisis demanded my attention, and I found myself doing the Martha thing again. Over and over I waffled in my decision to focus more on the life God wanted for me. I resisted making the Lord a priority—not intentionally, of course. But I would think: “I have a job that requires some extra responsibility and I need to do these things. I don’t want to let my boss down.”
But in late 2005, the Lord started nudging and compelling me to live up to my commitment to be more of a Mary. I began to have problems sleeping and saw three sleep specialists, a neurologist, and even a psychologist—none of whom were able to resolve my insomnia. Remarkably, I didn’t feel sick, but I knew that eventually my body would start to suffer from my average regimen of about 24 hours sleep in a week! Despite my growing fatigue, I continued to work at least 60 hours a week. Mind you, this schedule was an improvement over my typical 80 hours or more!
By late 2007, I was suffering from unrelenting fatigue. I could not drive more than 20 minutes without feeling as if I’d run a marathon. A trip from my den to the laundry room was excruciating. By the time the laundry was in the washing machine, I felt as if I’d just done a few rounds in the ring with Ali!
My conversations with my boss about a leave of absence always seemed inconclusive. I felt that I had to make an all-or-nothing decision—that I had to quit my job or go back to the 80-hour work week. In the end, the less frenetic pace was insufficient and I felt the pressure to resign.
Since mid 2008, I have been a stay-at-home wife and mother (even though my children are out of the nest). Not having a “job” is a huge deal for me! The resignation was a hard decision, but I knew that it was God-ordained! The Lord allowed me to go through some struggles with my job and my health to help me see that our best life results when we honor our commitments and live our lives according to His word.
Still, the consummate Martha, I spent my first few months of joblessness agonizing over finding another job. Though I was still having some health problems, I just knew once I got back into the game and found work that I loved, I would be fine.
And then one night, I went to bed feeling defeated. The job market didn’t offer much for a 53-year-old, out-of-work senior manager. I was willing—and wanted—to work less demanding jobs, but I kept hearing that I was overqualified. As I said my prayers, I told the Lord I would do whatever He had in store for me if He would just send it my way.
A few hours later, I bolted awake! It was clear that the Lord had awakened me—I know that feeling so well. You just know when the Lord is going to say something to you. And it was time for Him to have His say—and His way—and for me to listen!
And Jesus answered and said to her, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and troubled about many things. But one thing is needed, and Mary has chosen that good part, which will not be taken away from her.” ~ Luke 10:41-42 (NKJV)
And there it was! His message took me full circle to that pew in Marion Baptist Church: there is only one thing that is needed of me. Jesus had nudged me again and again, reminding me of my resolution to be more like Mary. Yet I kept up my old behaviors, worrying about many things—things of little consequence.
So, I am officially on sabbatical until Labor Day, 2009! I will not look for, think about, or talk about work. I am going to spend my time sitting at Jesus’ feet, basking in His Word! I am going to enjoy the blessings that God has given me—a devoted husband, children and grandchildren whom I adore, precious friends who “get” me. I am going to spend some time in quiet solitude, thinking on all these things.
I have chosen the good part—the part that Jesus assures me cannot be taken away from me.
Lord, I want to be like Mary!
