Friends and Lovers 05/07/2010
For several months now, our family has been busy with preparations for the wedding of my husband Rusty's only child, Emily. She and fiancé Jeff have been a couple for about seven years, and as we've gotten to know Jeff, we've all decided he's a pretty great guy. As word has gotten out that there will soon be a new marriage in our family, people have asked about the wedding and the man Emily is marrying. My standard reply is usually something like “Emily and Jeff are so compatible and I’m very happy for them.” My response is not a pat answer--it's sincere because I really do believe they are a perfect fit for one another. They started their relationship as friends in high school and that friendship was cultivated until it eventually blossomed into a romance. And I believe that strong friendships often make for the best long-term relationships. Marriage shouldn’t force you to give up the friendship part of your relationship. Your spouse should be your best friend. I saw a quote the other day, and it makes a good point about what marriage should be: “If there is such a thing as a good marriage, it is because it resembles friendship rather than love.” My wish for Jeff and Emily is that as their relationship becomes more intimate that they will maintain the thing that brought them together in the first place—friendship! Your best friend is the person who still loves you—warts and all. Your best friend liked you (like is way more important than love in my book) before you even tried to impress them in a manner that you hoped would eventually win their love. Friendship is what will sustain you during the hard times, and it will compel you to turn to one another during times of great joy and during times of unbelievable sadness. A great friendship is a place of refuge. Just like home, it’s the place you want to be in times of celebration and in times of frustration. Frederick W. Robertson said, “Home is the one place in all this world where hearts are sure of each other. It is the place of confidence. It is the place where we tear off that mask of guarded and suspicious coldness which the world forces us to wear in self-defense, and where we pour out the unreserved communications of full and confiding hearts. It is the spot where expressions of tenderness gush out without any sensation of awkwardness and without any dread of ridicule.” Doesn’t that describe a phenomenal friendship equally as well? And to have a marriage that includes all of these things—freedom to be who we are, the ability to communicate everything in our hearts, to love and be loved without the slightest hint of self-consciousness—WOW! So to Emily and Jeff, the friends who have become lovers, may you have a marriage that is all of these things and more. 3 Comments O Love That Wilt Not Let Me Go! 04/16/2010
For almost a month, the wedding of my husband’s daughter Emily has created a bustle of activity around our house. All the pre-nuptial parties have been a little over an hour’s drive for me and the things I’ve done to help Emily prepare for the wedding have been worked on late at night after Rusty was in bed. So while I was planning and partying, I had plenty of time to think about weddings and what leads to them—love! It’s not unusual for me to wake up in the morning with a scripture verse or a hymn stuck in my mind that, no doubt, results from the things that swirled around in my head for the majority of the day before. This morning, the voice in my head was humming the hymn “O Love That Will Not Let Me Go.” I have absolutely no idea why that particular hymn came to my mind because it’s not one that was sung very often in any of the churches I ever attended. I may have played it at a wedding a time of two, but the words of the hymn are not ones I could easily recall. The title line was about all that I could bring to mind. But there it was, several hours later, rolling around in my brain. I love music, but it drives me nuts when I can’t get a song out of my head—especially if it’s one I don’t know the words to. So, I finally sat down at my computer and turned to YouTube . . . Pretty awesome, isn’t it? I couldn’t help but wonder what compelled the lyricist, George Matheson, to pen such beautiful poetry, so I turned to Google . . . The history of the hymn is rooted in a wedding! Matheson’s sister was getting married and for reasons only a jilted lover can understand, Matheson stayed home. . . Years before, Matheson had been engaged to be married himself. Plans were being made for his own wedding when he began to experience problems with his vision. After seeing several doctors, Matheson was told that nothing could be done to save his sight. When his fiancé learned that her future husband was going blind, she told him she could not go through life with a blind man and broke the engagement. Matheson, now alone and facing a future without even a hint of light, continued his studies for the ministry. According to some theologians of his time it was believed that Matheson might have been the leader of the Church of Scotland had it not been for his blindness. He had written a learned work on German theology as well as a book, “The Growth of the Spirit of Christianity.” But critics gave mixed reviews of the book. Some declared it brilliant while others pointed out mistakes. Charged with being an inaccurate student, Matheson felt defeated and broken. When Matheson saw that his blindness could possibly be a fatal hindrance, he withdrew from his pursuit of theology and went into pastoral ministry. Finally, Matheson was led to a church where he regularly preached to a congregation of over 1,500. But he was only able to do this because of the care of his sister and now she was married and gone. His sister’s marriage brought a fresh reminder of his own lost love and he despaired over how he would manage to minister to his congregation without his sister’s help. In the midst of intense sadness, the Lord inspired Matheson to pen the beautiful hymn—written, according to his account, in five minutes! Listen to the words—the images they paint. Though Matheson had long since lost his sight, he had not lost the memories of God’s beautiful creations! “O light that followest all my way, I yield my flickering torch to thee; My heart restores its borrowed ray, That in thy sunshine’s blaze its day May brighter, fairer be.” Matheson seems to be saying that he yields his darkness to his Savior with the knowledge that his sight was only a borrowed blessing and the real light comes from his salvation. He claims the promise that he will one day know a brighter, fairer day in Heaven. Looking back over his life, Matheson once wrote that his was “an obstructed life, a circumscribed life… but a life of quenchless hopefulness.” Hopefulness! Matheson saw his suffering not as a hopeless situation, but as a mere obstruction. How could he maintain such hope in the midst of such trials? What a lesson for us! Matheson starts the hymn by saying he will rest his weary soul in the arms of his loving Savior. And he gives his life back to the one who created him so that his life may be fuller and richer. Then he says “I trace the rainbow in the rain, and feel the promise is not vain” The rainbow image is not for Matheson! He is claiming God’s promise and testifying to the Lord’s faithfulness even in the midst of great hardship! Precious Jesus, may I rest my weary soul in Thee at those times when I feel despondent. May I give you the life You’ve given me to use it as You will, knowing that Your love will never let me go! |
